Okay, so Santa is not wearing speedos on our Christmas card. We also can’t technically confirm that he is spending the lead-up to Christmas Eve at Tongabezi. Elves have very strict privacy laws, did you know that?
However, we can assure you that IF Santa was at Tongabezi (wink wink) then the best places to find him would be doing laps in our new pool, sweating away on the bikes in our new gym, or wandering around our ever-growing vegetable garden deciding between avocado and butternut for his salad. (PS. he usually goes for both).
That’s right, Santa Claus is on a health kick. It’s not about losing weight; he knows he looks good in that slinky red suit. He simply has to prepare for the terrifying number of cookies, mince pies, and glasses of milk he is expected to consume in the course of one night very soon.
And where better to do that than at Tongabezi, where every upgrade we have made this year has been with eco-friendly health and happiness in mind?
Santa says (or would, if we could tell you he was here) that the Tongabezi Stretch – a mixture of Yoga and Pilates designed by our personal trainer Anusa – has “changed the game.” For the first time in years, apparently, he might not put his back out carrying millions of gifts down chimneys.
The Tongabezi kitchen team have designed a range of recipes based entirely on food from our own gardens. Guests can find and pick everything from sweet potato to spinach, peppers to pomegranates, and our team will make a delicious meal out of the choices.
We have recently had to draw the line at letting certain oversized, antlered pets into the gardens, however, since they were eating all of the strawberries.
THE NEW POOL
Santa’s thought process (according to the conversation he did not have with one of the Tongabezi bartenders, Chimbali, yesterday):
“Chimbali, you’re a smart guy. You’ve always been on the Nice List. Help me out here.
Let’s say I do a hundred laps in this pool every day till Christmas Eve… that’s 15 metres a lap which is a kilometre and a half a day. Surely not only will I be able to stomach one mince pie per every house in the world come Chritsmas Eve, but I will also have made space for a few of those lovely looking cocktails. You so conveniently make them right by the pool, after all. And a brownie… I can definitely manage a brownie.
What do you think?”
We think have a brownie when you want a brownie, Santa. The pool, gym and garden aren’t going anywhere, and we have a bunch more health and happiness-conscious ideas for 2019 up our sleeves.